When Killing Everyone, Remember to Stay Happy

Please excuse this poor excuse for a post.  Not all of writing is pretty happy shiny.

So, the book I’m writing involves a series of increasingly grim tales of an apocalypse that nearly wipes out humanity.  Things are getting depressing.  I usually have troubles when I’m in the thick of writing something hard, like character deaths.

And every single chapter is a character death.  Oh no, not just one… dozens.  Hundreds.  Cumulatively, ultimately, billions.  :/  I’m killing the world here.  And it’s taking it out of me.  I am actually getting sick because of it, or maybe it’s just compounding an already terrible feeling.  That’s probably it.  When I get sick I feel terrible; I’m experiencing a perfect storm of feeling like poop.

All-day headache, awesome.  Crushing feeling of depression (I am not depressed, that is not a phrase to brandy about lightly).  Sore throat.  The blehgs.  Usually it lasts a day.  Today was day three, and the headache was new.

I’d forgotten about this aspect of writing.  My last novel didn’t have any death in it.  It was rather upbeat.  I loved writing it.

This is the first major work I’ve written where I can’t wait to be done.  I am actually looking forward to the process of finding an agent or publisher for it (the part I usually dread).  Normally, the writing is a joy.  This is some strange monster of joy and sorrow and anguish.  My best yet.  I can’t wait for it to be over.

Because I know I’ll be able to sell it.

I just have to get the damn thing written first.

Last week I set out to do a segment that ended on an upnote, a ray of sunshine in a dark, dark world.  However, it made more sense for the narrative to take such a devastating turn that it worked out brilliantly, but has left me exhausted.

I won’t harp on about it.  I guess, if you’re going to be writing something dark, prepare yourself.  I should have know this would happen.  It’s happened before.  …Not like this though.  I’ll get through it, and I think the work will be better for it.

Such death, so apocalypse.  Wow.  Many depress.  Wow.

A remedy: this video (NSFW, in that, it’s hilarious, but you might not want your boss seeing this over your shoulder).

Chin up.  Stiff upper lip.  All that wot wot.

Heidi out.


2 Replies to “When Killing Everyone, Remember to Stay Happy”

  1. Hello!

    I agree that killing off characters can be hard – especially when they’re the ones you’ve become attached to. I think it’s actually easier to kill off billions of nobodies than it is to kill off just a few of the ones you love.

    I hope that doesn’t make me a psychopath 😐

    Many good wishes. Such hope you finish soon. Wow.

    1. Hi Rhiannon, thanks for the reply. I totally thought the same thing! Haha, doesn’t make you a psychopath, we have to be ready to kill characters, known and unknown. 🙂 I’m feeling much better this morning; it was perhaps an extended period of “the ennui” as I like to call it, combined with all that other nonsense.

      I wish you luck in your own writing endeavours! Remember, you’re not “unpublished”, you’re “pre-published”. 😀

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