I’m Back Baby!

Hello dear readers!

I’ve been pretty offgrid for well over two years now, and I thought it was high time to say hi.  HI!

I had an amazing journey in New Zealand.  It was exactly what I needed to help me process a massive life shift, and I will forever be grateful for my time there, and to all the people who helped me along the way.  It was truly magnificent. Winter in Vancouver:

I’m back in Vancouver!  I move into my new apartment in a few days and I couldn’t be happier.  I have a sweet job in an office; the days are long but that way my work week is 4 days, leaving me 3 days to tear into my creative projects. The view at work:

I’ve had a ton of creativity since I’ve been back.  There are so many things I want to work on, but, as always, I have laid out a plan to help me focus and get things done.  I’m living life in 3-month seasons, and it’s been an interesting exercise in sight-setting, adjusting course, and hurling myself full tilt towards my new life. It’s been so amazing to see my book on shelves:

The last three months have been: The Season of Re-Grounding.  My focus for that season looked like this:

  • Prosperity: make money at a stable job
  • Refuge: keep up a daily meditation practice, connect with local meditation sangha
  • Diligence: staying accountable to larger goals, working hard on creative endeavours

I have been mostly successful at staying on track. Life sometimes throws things at us that even the best-laid plans cannot account for, but that’s one of my strengths: I’m so damn adaptable that I can take it in stride, if only pausing for a bit to adjust course.

So I’m working up the pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The last two-point-five years have been the base of the pyramid, addressing my basic psychological needs. The past three months have been the next tier up: safety. The immense safety that comes with a stable income is… overwhelming to feel again. Once I move into my new home, I hope my body and mind can settle down a bit as I get to feel like I’m safe and sound on the very basic levels. The next season of my year is going to be focused on social belonging. Doing things with friends, finding new social situations, and generally exploring some of the amazing things Vancouver has to offer. I’ll be reestablishing some of my hobbies and activities. (Such as [AKA Heidi Likes to Do THINGS]: archery membership can be renewed next month, I’m recording several projects at a sound studio, I’m looking for a musical partnership, learning photoshop and final cut, discovering my brain loves to do jigsaw puzzles, and we’ll see what I get up to once I have some disposable income! I can sense that there’s a lump of clay somewhere waiting for my hands to get into it for some sculpture work.)

A thing I had very much looked forward to having again: propper doughnuts! ❤ Harmony ❤

So that’s me for now. I’m very much looking forward to having some objects which I used to take for granted, things I haven’t had for a long, long time, little markers on the path of “this is a safe and stable life”. Like basically not having to keep my belongings down to what I can carry. Conditioner for my hair, which, get this Dear Readers, now has a few white strands showing up in it. I feel about 400 years old haha. But what an amazing thing, to feel reborn, to be on the edge of seeing what new life I am crafting for myself, to know that I have the strength and tenacity to get through any damn thing thrown at me, and come out the other side with my heart shining like a beacon.

And my mind is on fire! There is so much to do! I have so many projects! I am so, SO happy to be writing again.

Thanks for coming along and witnessing me. What a wild and precious life, eh?

Bells out.

Hello and Welcome to the New HG!

Hello Dear Readers.  Personal post ahead!

Thanks so much for still sticking around with me.  It’s been a doozy of a time, a real top-notch shitshow for me personally.  The past 2 years have been awful.  But things are great now.  The Coles’ Notes: I was with my husband for 14 years, and now we’re getting divorced.  I had a home and two cats, now I no longer have a home or cats.  I was in Canada, now I’m in New Zealand.  I was awesome, now I am EVEN MORE FRICKIN’ AWESOME.

(Here’s me at my own private “Polar Bear Swim” at Tahunanui Beach in Nelson, January 1st, 2017!)

I love life.  I have had the best time of my life the past few months.  It’s hard to go through something as disruptive as a divorce, but I’m doing well, and have a new improved outlook on life, the universe, and everything.

I wanted to share some things about me and keep you in the loop.  As this blog is primarily about my writing career, you’ll be pleased to hear that my novel, Sleep Over, is coming out soon!  I am beyond excited that I’ve come this far and will finally get to see one of my books in print, from an amazing publisher.  (More updates to follow of course!)

(Here’s me in the shuttle being driven further into New Zealand to the Wangapeka.)

As you can see, I have opted for a new name.  H.G. Bells reporting for duty!  I picked a new name that I think will be easy to 1) pronounce 2) spell and 3) remember.  I hope to hit the ground running when Sleep Over comes out, and my new name will hopefully at least not completely hobble me when it comes to being the new kid on the block.

And it has the added benefit of being similar to one of the ‘fathers of sci-fi’, H.G. Wells.  I hope to follow in his footsteps and contribute to sci-fi as he did (ambitious much Heidi?  Baby you know it!).

So my next few posts will be about me in New Zealand.  It’s so beautiful here, and it’s been an incredible place to begin healing my poor broken heart, meet amazing people, and generally expand my horizons.

(Me up at Omahu at the Wangapeka… the most beautiful place.)

Writing-wise, I will say that going through a divorce was incredibly disruptive, surprising no one.  What did surprise me, was my ability to complete a major set of revisions for my publisher during the worst time of my life.  I have to tell you, when I got the email that my draft had been accepted it was such a huge weight off my back.  It made me realise that I have spent so much time and effort honing my craft that it was still functional while my whole world was being burnt to the ground around me.  I can still perform as a writer while my world is on fire.  I honestly didn’t think I could do it, and, while I was struggling to get the final draft done during those dark times, I thought for sure it was the end of my writing life.  But I have emerged from that process with a deeper appreciation and confidence in my work, my process, and in myself.  I built the foundation of my craft strong, and I built it to last.  Thanks Past Heidi, you did a real good job there.  (Future Heidi if you’re reading this: hi!  I love you!)

Also, I am strong as fuck.  If there’s a thing on this earth that can break me, I sure as hell don’t know what it is.  (ATTN gods of fate: this is not a challenge, pls leave Heidi alone for a while k thanks bye.)

But, while I am strong, I am tired as hell.  I would love it if Sleep Over could come out and do well so I can breathe a little easier.  I know it’s not easy establishing oneself on the world stage of authordom (and realistically I expect to need several published books before I can count myself as successful), but hopefully Sleep Over will be a good start.  And then I can really shine.  Because, while I can keep up with the process while going through hell, my best work has been while I’ve had a stable and happy life.  I hope to get back to something approximating that some day, and can continue on with a vague life trajectory.

We make all these plans, and then life happens.  We assume we will be the same, but we’re all changing all the time.  Things change, we change, and here I am surfing a big change.  Yeehaa!!!

So that’s me.  Thanks for reading my most personal update yet.  I truly cannot express how grateful I am to still have you with me, for your kind words, your support, your love.  As I’m rising from the ashes of my former life I can see so much to be grateful for, so much to love, so much to feel.  And through it all, be it from the sidelines or holding my hand, is you.

Much love,

Continually Yours,

Heidi Grace Bells

 

P.S. You can email me at my snazzy new email address:  heidi {at} hgbells {dot} com  And as you may notice, my website has changed to match!  hgbells {dot} com is the new me!